Delivery Time

It’s been awhile… a long duration since I’ve exposed the inner Brittany to the world. At first it was a serious case of writer’s block, followed then by an inability to vomit out the words that were lurking within me - where I couldn’t communicate what or who I was to myself or to anyone else. That has changed.

I, for some time now, have been in a period of gestation – what I believe to be a season where old dreams come to life. A time of rebirth.

In all the pain that I walked through over the last nine months, I felt – from its conception – that this was a John 16 moment [John 16:20-22]. The scripture refers to a woman in labor who suffers pain and anguish; however, upon the birth, she is so overcome with joy that she remembers that pain – but feels it no longer. When reading that passage many months ago, I too, felt that I was in that place. A place upon which I suffered and felt the pangs of something that was alive within me, yet hopeful of what would spring forth from it.

I write today to celebrate [the eve of] nine months. I truly feel that this gestation period has ended, and my initial instinct was accurate. Life has been breathed into what I thought was stale and decomposed. Dreams and talents have been restored and I am so grateful to the Lord for it. This season was initially stemmed from brokenness of an unfaithful relationship, and it has taken me until today to forgive him. Today… I feel free.

I have encountered more of God’s grace [at least that I am aware of] during this time than I ever have in my entire life, and I know that there is a direct correlation between the release of bitterness and unforgiveness towards that [hu]man in order to be free and fully release the regeneration of the dreams I felt were dead and gone.

Words cannot express the joy I feel when I look at where I’ve been and where I am now. I have completed an insanely long journey! I look at the opportunities that are knocking on my door, and I am simply floored by the accuracy of timing during these nine months – even to the point where I reflect on the last three months [last trimester] and discover how much I have grown, developed, and redefined who I am.

So, Happy [re]birth-day Briniloo! Its delivery time.