There is a Place

I'm amazed by God because prayer continues to be the place where I can go and be connected. Today was rough! Day 1 of a fast that I'd long been putting off and I was irritable. I know the Bible says not to wear it on my face and I probably would have been alright if people hadn't been people...do you know what I mean by that? I mean, I could have hidden my irritability if people hadn't poked at it with a stick.

But I pray intensely as a part of this consecration and it's like my whole everything changes. My voice, my diction, my perspective. And it's not fake...I'm not reaching to pretend to be something I'm not, but it's like I'm becoming something that I'm not yet and prayer gives me a glimpse. I connect to God and when I pray with and for people, I often find that my heart for them grows deep. People I wanted to hit with a shovel five seconds ago become people whose lives I want to see enriched by any Godly means necessary.

So I thank God for taking this pastor's heart - often mistaken (when the world gets annoying and people are people and God seems distant) for a burden - and reshaping it until it more closely reflects the heart of my God. Yo, everything really will be alright...somehow, some day, certainly.

Would you hurry it up already?

I feel so restless. Discontent with where I am and unsure of where I’m headed, I ride an emotional rollercoaster these days. It encompasses so many areas of my life, whether it is with my career, finances, with my relationships, and even with my understanding of who God is and what the Church represents in our culture.

I understand God’s grace in the big scheme of things, but what about the Today Grace?

I need some of that.

I don’t want to confuse it with Today Patience because I need some of that, too, but I really, really don’t like my life right now. Days feel dull and void, lifeless, and a wee bit lonely.

G R A C E to make it through and make the most of what I have and don’t have.

Today, I need it. Like… now.