It's in the doing...

So, a few weeks ago the thought came to me, "what would happen if, for nine months I relentlessly pursued God with everything within me? What would life look like if that was my singular motivating aim?" I'm not entirely sure what that looks like, but I do know that it is something that is both frightening and exciting, and something that I am looking forward to seeing on the other side of it. I mean, think about it- how much stuff changes in nine months? Babies go from being just a thought to a fully formed human being. Whole paradigms shift as students learn in class during a school year. The tides of nations are changed in that span of time and often less. Nine months isn't magical. There isn't some secret, biblical, numerological formula for that span of time (so far as I can tell), but it is a sight to set my eyes upon. It is a goal after which I will reach- and so I will.

As I thought about this whole idea of nine months of pursuit, one of the most important things that kept sticking out to me was the reality that real, genuine bible study has to be a part of it. I am not talking about the, wake up, shove a few scriptures down your throat as you head for or run out the door and hope that you remember them throughout the course of the day, or your life. No, I am talking about meditating on the scriptures, letting them take root and knowing that your life is being changed by a word that the Bible says is alive and active. So I started today.

I hopped on The Village Church's website and downloaded their podcast from a few years back about how to study the bible. I listened to it last night before heading off to bed and endeavored to start this morning- and start I did. Today's text was Matthew 1-4, as good a place to start as any, since it is the beginning of the new testament account of the life and work of Jesus. Amongst these texts, something really stuck out to me, namely Matthew 2:20-22. In it Matthew says:

“Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead.”
21 So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel.22 But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee,

Prior to this text Matthew has introduced us to the birth of Jesus and the fact that Herod is wanting to kill Him for being called "the King of the Jews." Joseph narrowly escapes with his wife and child and waits in Egypt until the death of Herod, the King, before he endeavors to return. Learning about Herod's death, he feels compelled by the Holy Spirit to return back to the land he came from because it is now safe. Along the way he, and seemingly God, change their mind, and suddenly realize that it's not so safe after all. The new king is just as, if not more dangerous than his paternal predecessor. Instead, God again warns Joseph to divert his plans and find himself in another place. The question that sticks out to me is this- didn't God know that Archelaus was king before he told Joseph to go back home? Was God surprised when, along the way back to Israel, an angel came to Him and broke the news, sending Him into a mad scramble to prepare a backup option for Joseph, Mary and Jesus? Or is something else at work here?

Maybe the traveling back to Israel was a pretext for God to show us the power of obedience. Sometimes, it is so easy for us to sit back and wait for a clear and concise direction and to say that until we have it we can't start moving. But what if God is asking us to move in the general direction of what we know and believe that along the way, He will make the details abundantly clear? Maybe that's what was going on here with Joseph. God knew all along what was going to happen. He knew about Herod, knew about Egypt, knew about the return to Israel that would be seemingly thwarted by Archelaus' reign and allowed it to play out exactly as it did, because He wanted to show Joseph (and us) what forward moving obedience looks like. Joseph could very easily have sat in whatever house he had built in Egypt and waited for the precise and exact direction for what was next. Instead, when God said go back to Israel he did, even though it was a very general direction he had been given. Imagine that God said to you, move to China. No city, no province, no idea of what area of the country to find yourself in- just move. How would we respond? More often than not I would say that we would look for signs in the stars, points on a map or a prophecy from someone that would identify all the specifics that our finite brains feel that we need. But what if God is saying "move" and the details will be revealed to you as you move forward. What if God is saying "the direction's in the doing." What are we now waiting on that God is waiting on as well? What if the full explanation of purpose, destiny, and fulfilled calling is waiting like waystations along the journey that is life, and what if we have to walk towards them in order to realize the fullness of our potential? What if waiting on the sidelines for a word will only continue to frustrate us because God is saying to walk confidently in the direction of the dreams that He has given us, believing that along the way more will be revealed. What if it's in the doing?

Even Unto Death...?

This is a post from my other blog that I wanted to repost here:

There I was, standing and looking out over the Pacific Ocean in San Diego. In my ears played the refrain of a song off of ORU Music Ministries' album, "Until the Whole World Knows." While I enjoy most of the album, the one song that seemed to stick to me is one called "Persecution." Dark I know, right-but it's awesome. The basic premise of the song is that true worship and purification happen through the trials that we face and our willingness to walk through them and still sing out praises to our God. We eventually will join with the elders (that's for you Kelbert) and the scores of saints that have gone before in singing that our God is holy and is worthy of all praise. It's a haunting reminder that this life is not all that there is, and that our ultimate goal, our chief aim, is to bring about the praise and glory of our Lord.

Then I started thinking, what about those elders who have gone before me? In particular, there's this line in the song that really jumped out at me. As the song is resolving, the worship leader says, "we will be as those who boldly come before the throne and sing the elders' song...even unto death." Really? Unto death? The weight of that line is massive. The idea that we are called to sing worship to God, even in the face of death is a daunting reminder of my failure to even come close to that. It's so easy to praise God when things are going well, or more solemnly, when things are not going so well so long as there is an innate belief that it will all resolve itself to our good. But what of the idea that our praise and worship is to be extended even at the point of our death- when it is apparent that things are not going to work out like we want them? What of the stories of the saints and elders like Stephen who, even at the point of his death could look up towards heaven and see Jesus and then with his last breath speak forgiveness over those who were killing him? What of Paul and Silas, of the Apostle John, of Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela who could believe in and worship a Savior in spite of facing and embracing death in a very real and tangible sense? What do we do with those stories in a worldview that has no idea what it really means to "face death all the day long" as Psalm 44:22 says. Am I really willing or ready to worship God to the point of my death? Do I value His love and sacrifice to that point, or is it merely idle chatter and pretty (albeit haunting) songs that fill my day with no real connection to my actual life?

Let's take a step back. Is there anything for which I am willing to die? I would dare say that at this point there isn't- and that scares me. Martin Luther King, Jr. said "if a man is not willing to die for something he is not fit to live. " Could I extend it slightly and say that the person who has not found something worth dying for has not yet begun to live? I mean, consider it- if there is nothing for which we would be willing to sacrifice everything, then how can we accurately love anything? Do I rightly love God if I would not be willing in more than word to lay down my life? Is God enough, or do I think that adding to Him is necessary in order to fully appreciate and embrace life? Further, by adding to Him, do I take away from who he really is? Hint- the answer is yes.

And there's still one step further this journey is taking me. Am I willing to die...to myself. Now, I am not referring to the oft used reference of "death to self" referring to a subduing of passions and desires in pursuit of some as yet unattainable divine goal or spiritual "attitude." I am talking of my willingness to put upon the altar of my life any dreams and ambitions to see if, when tried by fire, they last and are found to actually be God's plans. We all make plans- it's in our nature to do so. We take into account our ambitions, abilities, desires, and any number of other factors in order to create a plan for our lives that we intend to walk out. Often, these plans are built out of a desire to do the will of God for our lives (however elusive that may seem to be at times), and we strive with all earnest to see them come about. But would we be willing to lay them down? I mean, Saul knew that he was doing God's work, and pursued it with as much vigor and fervor as he possibly could. Then God stepped in and changed everything. Moses was completely content living a life of luxury in the palace of the king until a situation arose that shook him to the very core of his being and sent him fleeing into the desert (where he would spend the remainder of his days). Abraham was a good man who became righteous simply because he "believed" when God called out to him. The key factor with all these people? God stepped in and they were willing to be changed. The key question for me? Would I be as willing to let everything I knew, everything I felt "called" to do, everything I was sure of be held by the master and shaped into what it is he precisely wants?

I sure hope so.

In truth, the Bible is replete with stories of men and women who were pursuing their plans and passions, only to have those plans shaken by an encounter with a very real God. Fishermen left their trade and their families to pursue an unknown man with a panache for pissing people off, shepherds left the comfort and familiarity of their flock to confront an army, and women left behind the established order and societal conventions in order to ensure that the gospel was preached and established. The ultimate flexibility of these people's plans met the immovability of a sovereign God's plans for each of us and the restoration of the world to Himself. I pray that I might be one who, as these did, would be willing to lay down what is firm in my mind for what is ultimate in His heart.