God in the CommonPlace

I've been struggling all day with this whole idea of finding God and subsequently Grace in the common places of our lives. And to be frank, I'm still struggling. I can't promise that any necessary conclusion will emerge at the end of this one, perhaps just more frustrated questions.

So, yeah. In case you don't know, the past 4 years for me have been one big struggle. At the beginning I thought I was taking steps (sometimes seemingly drastic) that were in line with what God wanted me to do with my life, even if I didn't always see how one led to that as yet undefined purpose. I made bold leaps of faith and just stuck to my guns, knowing God would meet me on the other side of the leap. The answered prayers/desire to know purpose would be my proverbial pot of gold at the end of an occasionally muted technicolor rainbow. But I'm not so sure anymore. Is it possible to have consistently missed purpose by accident? Is it reasonable to believe that even in my attempts to do right, I have veered so drastically off course that my purpose lays at the (metaphorical) place where I first started to turn? Many times I have said to others that God's grace is big enough to cover our successes and the failures we pursued because we believed they would lead us to future successes (circular logic anyone).

I have to hope that's true. Because all around me, I see successes and destinies unfolding before people that I have eaten with, laughed with, cried with, fought with, and joked with- but not yet for me. I'm not sure if I'm necessarily waiting for an "aha!" moment, when everything falls neatly into place, but at least a gentle dawning or an "ahhh..." would be nice right about now. I'd at least like to see tomorrow coming, instead of the seemingly interminable cycle of sameness that is my ever present today. So, what's my conclusion? I guess it's just to keep hoping because right about now that's all I have left. Hope in a future, hope in an established end, hope that "He who began a good work in me," really does have an established end...somewhere. Soon.

Pursue. Original.

Once Again

This is a quick one. 

So I'm just minding my own business right? I just finished eating a pancake, drinking a french press cup of coffee, and thinking about life. Actually, I've been thinking about Jennifer Hudson a lot this weekend and praying for her. Side note. You know, one might think that she is really in need of the grace of God at this moment. I mean I don't think many of us would even dare to imagine what life would be like given the circumstances that she has been forced to accept these past few days. But here's what I think. Though her earthly situation is as crazy as any I've heard of, the grace that's been extended to her from the Father is from the same place that He has extended grace to me today to go to work and sell rugs. By that I mean, His love is so amazingly unconditional that even the darkest days on earth don't move Him to extended special graces and mercies towards us. His love is so complete that in all things and through all things He gives graciously to us everything that pertains to this life and to Godliness without measure. He's as interested in me having the favor to sell a rug as He is in her looking to Him to be the comforter during this dark day for her. And He's provided equally to both of us the ability to make that happen. It may seem unfair to our carnal way of thinking. But of course He doesn't think like you and I do. His is an unconditional love. I hope that makes sense. 

Anyway, back to my pancakes and coffee. I complete my breakfast, check my Facebook, read a very interesting note by one of my friends that I haven't decided yet what I think about it, and then out of nowhere, a dawning comes. By that I mean, I am just aware all over again that God loves me. And when I walk out my front door this morning, I'm going into the world clothed with Grace and empowered by His love. I'm just amazed once again. And I just thought I'd share it. 

A guy in love with Grace.

Grace?

So, you know how (or maybe you don't) you start off in a new church and you don't know anybody? You're cool with that though because church hasn't become a social place for you yet. You're only going Sunday after Sunday because everytime you come, you feel right. People start noticing that you can do incredible things...like read, speak English and smile...and then all the requests start coming in: pray for this, preach at that, motivational speak and uplift them, etc.

Whereas before you were just an unknown, now you feel like an outcast. With the hopes and the eyes of a community on you, every word speaks of your incredible potential and declares that you are capable of things that kids aren't used to hearing. To those for whom this is not autobiographical, think Obama-nia x 40 and then scaled down to loosely fit a 13 year old.

Things start to get heavy and really grown and maybe you just want to fit in because you didn't plan on being "the different one" forever. So, you try to do things with the cool kids, but they won't let you. You're FAR too insulted and insecure to see that they're trying to preserve that special thing about you that would only be tainted by "cool kid activities." You'll never really make it to "cool kid" status. Even if you get where they were and do what they do, you'll lack the comfort in it that they possessed, which is what really made them cool in the first place.

Whatever the case, you'll probably never get there...but you will take your eye off of your special-ness...your "God is my BEST friend and a character like Christ's is my only aspiration" sentiments...and all that jazz. Good things will happen that will make you feel safe in your dismissal. Bad things will happen that will make you latch onto something - sometimes the God you dismissed, sometimes the stuff you picked up during that weird phase of in-betweeness...Jesus Freak - Cool Kid...Jesus Freak - Cool Kid...Jesus Fr...

Then one day, you'll wake up, realizing it's not good things and bad things - it's LIFE and you are completely incapable of doing it (much less, thriving in it) using the stuff you took. You've got to revert to what you were GIVEN. That relationship with God that made you alright with being the kid nobody knew. That "imaginary friend" conception of God where He was always right next to you, but the people looking only saw you.

Grace might be like God having an extraordinary amount of patience in playing hide and go seek with me, knowing where I'm hiding every time, but letting me think I'm hidden because simply believing I have ability is so key to my personal development. Then, when I've grown up and I've tired of seeing what things I can do just for the sake of doing them, God will play another game with me where I can develop, prayerfully, without wasting so much time trying to hide.

First Grace, then Love.

Grace, a divine virtue that we encounter daily, is by the most basic of definitions, the "freely given, undeserved favor of God".

Upon Damany’s approach with this blog proposal, I began to think about all of the areas in which the Lord has graciously saved me out of my own my muck and mire, my filthy circumstances where I’ve ended up at the bottom of a pit once again. I became overwhelmed, realizing how unworthy I am of His grace.

When I think about grace shown in the Bible, I’ve noticed that those to whom much grace [and forgiveness] was shown, they, in turn, loved much. I, too, relate to this most recently as I have been shown more grace in the last few months as I had fallen into the deepest “pit” of my life. Through the grace shown by the Lord, I have received new revelations of God’s character and of His love. As I’ve encountered Him, I am in a far better place than I was in the beginning. And my love has grown. I would not understand certain aspects of His character as I do now because He has revealed Himself to me--first and foremost--by His grace.

So what’s the point of this? As these posts continue, in the “in’s and out’s” of our lives, one will see where we fall and where we stand up again; one will eye-witness accounts of where God has given us far greater than we deserve.

We're all stumbling towards the light with varying degrees of grace at any given moment. –Bo Lozoff

The Gift of Grace

Let me begin by saying that I'm so excited to take part in this blog. Thanks Damany for the invite. 

Grace is something that has wowed me for quite some time now. It's one of the most beautiful manifestations of the love God that I've experienced. For so long, it was just another one of those words learned in church that lacked reality. In fact, it seemed to me to be kind of a wimpy word. You know what I mean? It was always one of those "I feel sorry for you so here you go" words. It's meaning, to me, lacked soul, compassion, and emotion. It would be like someone saw me drowning, threw me a life jacket, and then after rescuing me, let out the biggest exhale as if to say "that was more work than necessary but, whatever." I think you get what I mean. I'm not sure why I had that image of grace in my mind but there it was. But needless to say, a day came when light begin to pierce this dark, gross concept I had of this most beautiful gift and for that day, I'm thankful.

So I thought I would begin my contribution to this blog by sharing a few of my thoughts on grace. And if I'm not mistaken, no one likes to read a long blog so this just may have to come in a few parts. I've come to see grace as a gift from God. And this particular gift speaks more of the giver than the receiver. I mean we really were not fit to receive any type of gift whatsoever. And most people think that even where a gift is concerned, something should be done to receive the gift. You know this by hearing people say things like "You shouldn't have" or "what did I do to deserve this?" Well, if you did something to deserve the gift then it wouldn't be a gift. It would simply be a reward. That's not what grace is. It definitely is a gift. 

Grace is this amazing expression of the unconditional love of a Father who wanted to gift us with a way of escape. And this way of escape isn't just a one time occurrence. This gift of grace is constant yet new each day. It accompanies us through out our day. It causes things to happen to us that we never deserve. In fact, we deserve the very opposite of what we have. In our English language, a word that better describes grace is the word favor. It's defined as an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual. That's what this gift is. It's God showering us with unusual goodness. Not because we deserve it. But because He is so very good and so very kind. 

I think that's enough to start out this wonderful discussion and discovery of this most beautiful gift. Let's get into it more a little later and see where it takes us. I promise to not be all teacher guy all the time. But I'm really passionate about helping others walk in the fullness of this expression of love. So bear with me. And the good thing about this blog is that their are other writers you might connect with more. So there you have it. I'll just be me. A guy in love with Grace. 

 

Who We Are

I have tried seemingly 900 times to start this post and always end up staring at a blank page. So, instead allow me to introduce you to the authors of this blog.

Russell Hall is a Methodist Pastor based out of East Texas. Author of the “Radically Altered” blog, he is one of the most realistically spiritual people I know. What do I mean by “realistically spiritual?” Russell has a knack for taking the issues of faith and Christ and making you think about them when previously you were content to live in your ignorance. I had the good fortune to live with Russell and his lovely wife Erica for several months during a rough patch of my life. Their grace, hospitality and willingness to extend themselves beyond what was necessary for anyone in that situation showed me the love of Christ in a way that I had not previously imagined or comprehended. His posts about everything ranging from the role of the Church to the existence of evil and the Devil have kept me theologically on my toes for several months now since his entrance into the blogosphere. I also say nice things about him because he’s a hunter and could kill me from about 200 paces…

Din (pronounced Dean) Tolbert is one of the greatest and godliest men I know. He also happens to be my cousin. For well over a decade, we grew up in the same house together, his family occupying the two floors upstairs, and mine the two downstairs. We have a host of stories about each other that I hope never make their way into either of our blogs because I’m not entirely sure our parents know about all of them yet and they might be reading (remember that Din). He towers above most crowds at 6’8” and played collegiate Division 1 basketball for a while, attending Cornell University on an academic scholarship. This also makes him one of the smartest guys I know. His willingness to confront the weightier and “headier” theological issues and to present them in such a way that is both poetic and beautiful, while remaining challenging and difficult to escape is just one of the many reasons why I’m glad to have him in my family, and as an author on this blog. A licensed minister of the AME church, Din is also the youth pastor at The Greater Allen AME Cathedral, one of New York City’s most historic and well known churches.

Brittany Loose (Boose to her friends) is a friend I have had the privilege of growing to know for the past couple of years as I have become better and better friends with her brother. She’s a writer (briniloo.wordpress.com), questioner, wrestler with the hard things, and a sweet spirit whose sole goal and aim is to connect with what God has for her to do during the time she has on this earth. Her writing is honest, frank, and she is ever willing to confront the realities of that which she doesn’t understand or that which God is showing her and to do it in such a way that helps us to walk through it with her until we all come out on the other side better for the journey.

Kelbert McFarland (http://www.kelbertmcfarland.com/) is personally one of my favorite people in the whole world. A gifted song writer, and by default- poet, Kelbert’s revelations on the love and mercy of God have led me through some of the most difficult times of my life many times over. One of his greatest desires is to see the Church come back to the full glory that God has intended for it, where our singular aim is to lift up the name of our creator and to make His love known throughout the world. His unwavering commitment to “just Jesus, nothing else” has become the battle cry for many of the people that his life has touched through the weekly worship and bible study gatherings he hosts in Tulsa. An ordained minister, Kelbert is in many ways my pastor, and my brother (we even share the same birthday).

Laura Cooke is the Director of Worship at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma. A friend for several years, Laura is the quintessential Bohemian. She is a talented singer and extremely gifted songwriter, and her writing is some of the most hilarious and honest I have read in quite some time. I warn you, be careful where you read what she writes because public places where laughter is discouraged might prove to be problematic. I regularly wonder how Laura is able to squeeze from every moment of life a lesson, but am overjoyed that she does because it’s hilarious and I learn something every time.

My name is Damany. I am a 27 year old guy who has been on a journey for the past several years that I would best describe as difficult. It’s included joblessness, homelessness, despondency, joy, ecstasy and contentment. It has shown me that peace is not a manufactured contrivance of the mind, but something that only truly comes from God. I have had the privilege to learn much from the people listed above, and a host of others too numerous to list. It is my hope that our honest approach to the world around us, rife with difficulty and pain, grief and joy, mountaintops and valleys is what enables the world around us to want to know more about the God we love and serve-in every circumstance.